“Comparison is the fast track to misery.” - Jack Canfield.

The notification ping at 6 AM shouldn’t feel like a punch to the gut, but here we are.

You’re scrolling through Instagram while your three-year-old thinks sunrise is party time, and there she is—another “mom or dad boss” posting about their 5 AM workout, color-coordinated smoothie bowls, and how they “just threw together” what looks like a magazine spread for breakfast.

Meanwhile, you just discovered yesterday’s mac and cheese stuck to your shirt.

Oops.

And suddenly, you’re questioning everything.

Your parenting. Your content. Your life choices.

Whether that coffee stain on your pajamas is visible in your story background (spoiler alert - it is.)

When we’re constantly measuring our behind-the-scenes against everyone else’s highlight reel, we stop creating from our authentic center. We start copying instead of connecting. We chase their algorithm instead of building our own.

​Matt Tilmann·Apr 3

Remember that feeling? You pour your heart into a piece of content, hit "publish," and...crickets. It vanishes into the endless scroll. The algorithm changes AGAIN, and your reach plummets, leaving you questioning everything.

​Read full story​

But what’s really at stake? We second-guess every parenting decision. We show up anxious with our kids because we’re mentally comparing ourselves to Perfect Instagram Mom.

Our content becomes stale imitations instead of genuine connections. We burn out trying to be someone else instead of thriving as ourselves.

What if you could create content that actually energizes you instead of draining you? What if your “imperfect” moments became your most engaging posts?

Here’s the mind protection system that changed everything for me.

The Comparison Trap Reality Check

The “perfect” parent creators have something most people don’t talk about: they’re curating their reality, just like you curate yours.

That beautifully organized playroom?

You didn’t see the fifteen minutes of frantic tidying before the photo.

That elaborate birthday party? You missed the Pinterest planning meltdown at 2 AM.

That workout at 5 AM? You didn’t witness the three failed attempts when the baby woke up crying.

Research shows sleep-deprived parents struggle more with decision-making and emotional regulation. Then we add the pressure of performing our lives online? Ha!

No wonder we’re losing our minds.

The comparison trap unleashes three creativity killers:

• Creative paralysis: “If I can’t make it look like hers, why bother?”
• Guilt amplification: “I should be doing more/better/different”
• Imposter syndrome: “Who am I to share anything when she’s clearly got it all figured out?”

Time for a reality check: Nobody has it all figured out. Not her. Not you. Not anyone.

The 3-Step Mind Protection System

Step 1: The Feed Audit (The Digital Detox That Actually Works)

Remember when Marie Kondo had us questioning every item in our homes? Time to do the same with your social media feed.

The 48-Hour Rule: If an account makes you feel worse about yourself for 48 hours straight, it has to go. It’s okay, you already know they’re not bringing you joy.

Unfollow. Mute. Block if necessary.

I know what you’re thinking. “But she’s so successful!” “But I might miss her tips!”

Here’s the thing: You can admire someone’s work without consuming their content daily. Bookmark their website. Check in monthly. But don’t let their highlight reel be your daily wallpaper. I recommend using my link to check out Kortex to help with this.

One of their great features is being able to take a long YouTube video and distill it down to key action points that you can save for later.

Try this: Replace one comparison trigger with one creator who makes you feel inspired rather than inadequate. Substack has a whole host of creators willing to help!

Step 2: The Reality Anchor

When comparison hits (and it will), you need a reality anchor—something that grounds you in YOUR truth, not their performance.

Create a “Behind the Scenes” note on your phone. Psychology research shows that documenting our real experiences helps counter the false narratives we create from others’ curated content.

Every time you post something that looks “put together,” immediately write down what was really happening:

• “Posted about morning routine. Didn’t mention the twenty-minute search for matching socks.”
• “Shared productivity tips. Currently hiding in the bathroom to write this.”
• “Beautiful family photo. Took thirty-seven shots to get one where nobody’s making a weird face.”
• “Posted about healthy meals. Ordered takeout because everything burned while I was photographing it.”

When you see someone else’s “perfect” moment, pull out your reality anchor.

Remind yourself: they have a behind-the-scenes too.

Step 3: The Content Filter

Before creating anything, ask yourself: “Am I making this because it’s true to my experience, or because I saw someone else do it?”

If it’s the latter, step back.

What’s YOUR take? What’s YOUR story? What’s YOUR unique angle?

The authenticity test: Would you share this story with your best friend over coffee?

If yes, share it. If no, dig deeper until you find the real story underneath.

Practical Daily Strategies

Morning Routine That Centers YOU

Before you scroll, get clear on your own reality.

Five minutes of reflection before opening any app creates a protective barrier between your authentic self and the comparison tornado waiting in your feed.

Daily Clarity Questions:

• How am I feeling right now?
• What’s one thing going well in my life?
• What’s one challenge I’m navigating?
• What do I want to create today?
• How do I want to serve my audience?

This simple practice grounds you in your reality before you encounter anyone else’s curated version of theirs.

The Comparison Pause

When that familiar sting hits—you know, that “ugh, I suck” feeling after seeing someone’s perfect post—try this grounding technique used by anxiety therapists everywhere.

The 3-3-3 Technique:

• Name 3 things you can see in your real environment right now
• Name 3 things that are going well in YOUR life today
• Name 3 ways you’ve helped someone recently (keeping tiny humans alive absolutely counts - pets count too!)

This pulls you out of their world and back into yours. Where you belong.

Reframing Questions

Instead of “Why can’t I be more like him or her?” try:

• “What can I learn from their approach?” (if anything)
• “What’s working in MY life that I’m not celebrating?”
• “What story am I not telling that could help someone?”

Plot twist: Sometimes the answer is “absolutely nothing” and that’s perfectly fine too.

Not every creator is meant to teach you something. Even some writers will say that they don’t write for everyone.

Content Creation from Your Center

Finding Your Unique Angle

Your uniqueness isn’t in your perfection—it’s in your perspective.

That other creator might have the gorgeous playroom, but do they have your sense of humor about toddler chaos? Your insights about balancing creativity and motherhood? Your specific way of explaining complex concepts? Your way of helping your kiddo throw the perfect spiral?

Your angle lives at the intersection of:

• Your life experience
• Your perspective and voice
• Your audience’s needs
• Your unique way of solving problems

Nobody else has that exact combination. Nobody.

The “Real Moment to Content” Framework

Instead of trying to create perfect moments, turn your real ones into connection opportunities.

Step 1: Capture the authentic moment Notice when something real happens—a struggle, a realization, a small victory.

Step 2: Find the universal truth What’s the broader experience here that others might relate to?

Step 3: Extract the lesson What did you learn? What insight emerged from this experience?

Step 4: Structure for sharing

• Hook: Lead with the insight or question
• Story: Share what happened (briefly)
• Connection: Relate it to your audience’s experience
• Value: Offer one practical takeaway
• Conversation starter: Ask a genuine question

Building Authentic Engagement

Stop chasing likes. Start chasing conversations.

I’d rather have ten comments saying “I needed to hear this today” than a hundred heart emojis.

I’d rather have one person share my post with their sister who’s struggling than thousands of mindless double-taps.

Real engagement looks like:

• People sharing their own stories in the comments
• Messages saying “this helped me”
• Someone tagging a friend who needs to see it
• People implementing your advice and reporting back

These are the metrics that matter. These are the signs you’re creating from your authentic center instead of someone else’s template.

The comparison test: Would you rather have their follower count but feel empty inside, or half their numbers but know you’re genuinely helping people?

Yeah. That’s what I thought.

Here’s the bottom line: Creating content without losing your mind to comparison isn’t about never feeling envious or inspired by others.

It’s about building a strong enough sense of your own value that their success doesn’t diminish your worth.

Your story matters. Your perspective matters. Your behind-the-scenes chaos matters—maybe especially that.

The world doesn’t need another perfect parent creator. It needs YOU.

What’s one real moment from your week that could become your next piece of content?

Reply to this with your "beautifully messy" content moment.

I read every single one and often feature reader stories in future posts.

Make sure to subscribe if you want more authentic content creation strategies delivered weekly (no perfect morning routines required).

Share this with one creator friend who needs permission to be imperfect.

Because authentic connection starts with real conversations about real struggles.

And that starts with you being brave enough to go first. I shared a big one in this post.​

Your turn.

Have a great rest of your week and weekend, and as always, remember to take care of yourselves.

-Matt

P.S. If you enjoyed this read, the best support I could receive would be if you shared it, along with hitting the heart and restack buttons. Join a network of almost 1400 subscribers and followers who are finding and discovering new ways to get more time back to do what they love, with those they love today.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How do I know if I'm copying someone else's content style?

A: Use the authenticity test: Would you naturally tell this story to your best friend over coffee? If it feels forced or borrowed, dig deeper for your unique angle.

Q: What's the difference between inspiration and comparison?

A: Inspiration says "I can learn something here." Comparison says "I should be more like them." Inspiration energizes; comparison depletes.

Q: How long does it take to break free from comparison habits?

A: Most creators see shifts within 2-3 weeks of consistent practice. The key is daily implementation of the reality anchor technique.

Q: Should I unfollow successful creators in my niche?

A: Only if they consistently trigger self-doubt. You can respect their work while protecting your mental space by consuming their content intentionally rather than daily.

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